Unity

Unity is an important factor in marriage and relationships.

To be one.  AtOneMent.

At first your Unity in the relationship seems beautiful and wonderful. 

But in Corrupt relationships, Unity becomes corrupted.

In a corrupt relationship,you come to realize that your unity means you can't dissagree, you can't think for yourself, you can't have your own ideas and aspirations.

Absolute Oneness is mandatory.   All your ideas are considered, "poorly thought out." 

Any hobby is put down.  Any dream.  

You make sacrifice everything for their aspirations, but if you want the simplest thing, you are shot down. 

In healthy relationships there is unity, but it's cooperative unity.  Each partner retains their own identity, their own creativity, their own talents.  

The partner's gifts and talents may seem opposite, but complimentary.  Your strengths are his weaknesses, and your weaknesses are his strengths.

Each partner brings in his or her own abilitys and those abilities complete each other.

By differences you become complete, you become one.

Deragatory remarks

When you first meet him and fall in love, you notice he talks bad about a lot of people.

He just needs to learn the worth of souls.  You can teach him.   You plan how you will teach him over time to accept the differences of others, to understand others, and not to talk so bad about everyone.

He calls people he doesn't like, "A waste of human flesh."

Yeah.

But over time, you are not the one who wins.

In time you become accustomed to it.  You begin to worry about him noticing your faults like he does others.  

In vulnerable moments, you notice that you personally redirect his hatred, malice, anger, and sour words to others so he misses you as a target.

In time, if you're not careful, instead of teaching him to stop criticizing others, you become like him.

You come to learn that to gain his respect you have to put others down and look down on others as he does.

Deciding factors

The biggest question I see women face is, when is the relationship bad enough that they should leave?

 If the emotional abuse is severe, and the physical abuse slight, the simplest answer in a few questions.

Do you have the courage to stand up to him?

When you do stand up to him, does he listen, does he respond?

But don't misunderstand.  Every woman I've spoken to is more traumatized by the emotional abuse than the physical.