Wednesday, October 24, 2012

A New Birth

The last time I gave birth, I was so terrified.

My nephew had just taken his life the week before.  My husband promised to leave me after her birth.

The World Trade Center had come down.

Other things happened that really scared me.   I was afraid for my children's future.  I felt so alone.

I have wonderful healthy pregnancies, and make up for all the missed pregnancy suffering all in child labor.

The doctor who administered the epidural did it wrong and I felt complete pain.

In that hospital room I felt that my emotional suffering was complete.

I felt that my spiritual fears and suffering was complete.

I felt that my husband's betrayal and cruelty was complete.

I felt my physical suffering was complete.

My husband was their with me physically, and put on a video of that ape planet movie to comfort me?  He was cold and distant.

I can't look back at that day, without falling apart.  So I will skip much of the story details, to make the major point.

After hours of pain and complete suffering, my mind turned to the others.

I saw a young girl in another hospital far away, she was giving birth too.  She was in a hospital without family, a young teenage girl, becoming a mother.  I felt her pain and fear, and her wondering how she was going to meet her new responsibilities.

I saw another mother, so far away, in a hut, I felt her as she laid dying on a dirt floor, surrounded by her helpless small children.   I felt her heart tear as she ached to live for the sake of her children.   And I felt her spirit cry out as she died, and left her children helpless.  I felt as her spirit left her body.

In that moment, I felt every woman.

I felt the joined souls of every woman suffering at that moment.

All of them across the earth in one singular cry, their souls united in a song of suffering to the Lord.

I felt and saw them all as their heart broken souls stood before the Lord.

The uniting power of the suffering women was overwhelming.

I felt selfish and ashamed to ask the Lord to attend to my hardship, while their was so much suffering.  At the same time, I asked to, and prayed to the Lord for his aid.

I was answered, and the Lord promised to watch over me.

There was more.

But, I will tell you this.

God loves his daughters.  They are precious to him.   He hears every cry and counts every tear.  He is aware, he is very aware. 

To offend his daughters is to offend him.  He is wise and all powerful.

I have wondered how any being can withstand, and bear to exist the weight of the suffering.

I have come to believe, that the only means of peace for our Lord, is to exercise that power he has, sometimes swiftly, and sometimes in his own due time, at the oportune moment, to bring protection and justice.

I want every woman to know this.  That God is real.  That God loves them.   That he knows their unjust suffering.  That tears are counted.  He knows.

And when God chooses to act....


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