Oh how awful it is to be married to someone who drives away your children. How sickening it feels to hear them go on an on trying to detail the faults of your children.
I would rather never marry for eternal lifetimes, and be with my children, than to have to be with someone who does not love cherish and accept my children in all their glorious beauty and flaws.
Our children are the most precious gifts of God.
I am so glad I did not allow that relationship to continue. I am so grateful to my children for their amazing forgiveness. I am sorry for the trials they faced when my back was turned, although it was brief, it was eternally to long.
Who does that to someone? Who dares ask a parent to alienate the very children our Creator sent them to care for.
Before we married, when he was on his knees asking me to marry him, I kept him there, on his knees interrogating him at least 10 minutes. "Do you promise to love and accept all my children?" He already had a pretty solid taste of how challenging my kids could be. Whatever!
Single motherhood, barely swimming above poverty and a small home with the children is better than worldly possessions and a spouse that wants you all to themself.
After the "I do"s, once he went on an on about a specific child. I faked being asleep for 30 minutes and he was still going. I actually fell asleep and woke up yet another 30 minutes later and he was still going.....
Yes our kids have faults. Yes our children make mistakes. It's called growing up.
But, parents are supposed to be mature enough and big enough to love them through it, and be there for them always.
Getting out of those relationships isn't always easy. Say you realize you married your stalker, what do you do then? You cannot leave them and keep yourself and your family safe. You slowly and carefully disappoint them until they leave you.
The easiest way to disappoint them is to continue to accept your children into your home, and love them.
I know I will be held accountable for what happened to my children while distracted.
I'd rather have no companion than that.
I am so very, very glad that is over. Oh the peace that brings.
But, I have what is most precious. Those things are nothing. Although repairing the damage done to my children took a lot of work, and will continue to be work. I am so grateful every day that it is over with him.
Being around someone who drives away your children warps your brain. It tears you apart in too many directions. That kind of toxic negativity takes a while to clean off your soul.
Marriages are supposed to be Sacred and Holy. Marriages are supposed to be a blessing to your and your children.
This afternoon I returned home and couldn't find my daughter. I looked around in our small home, all of 1.5 seconds. Then I looked outside. I looked around the yard, and initially I couldn't find her. Then I looked up high in the tree and laughed. She sat there quit and thoughtfully staring into the sky for a while. She is so much braver than I am. How I love her for that! She even has baked potatoes sized muscles in her arms. Where did she get those? Later I quietly laughed at her strawberry jam/boiled egg/spinach sandwich. My son came to me excited with another of his ideas. I listen to these at least once a day. He's kinda smart which makes him hard to follow. Later I watched my other daughter go from happy over whatever, to sad, and "No, I don't want to talk about it." To happy again.
We made healthy chocolate snacks. #3 hated them, laughed and spat hers out. She then added sweet and condensed milk to hers. (various nut butters, raw local honey, coconut shreds, and dark chocolate powder formed into truffle balls, then rolled in chocolate powder again) The only bad thing about chocolate is the fat used to deliver it with. Nut fats, healthy.
Teens are nuts. I love them. I strangle them. But, I love them too.
