Confession and Restitution

I find that what is commonly taught of the Doctrine of Repentance among Mormons is distinctly different from what the LDS church actually teaches. Many Mormons I speak to, omit the steps of Confession and Restitution. Strangely every written teaching from the LDS Church on repentance includes the steps of Confession and Restitution. Many Mormons substitute these steps with never speaking of the sin and just be nice. Repentance is about reformation. A repentance motivated by selfish desire of the cleansing of ones own sin, and no consideration to the victims omits these essential steps. Atonement At-One-Ment: becoming one with Christ. Those who become one with Christ share certain symptoms such as actually caring for others. Those who are One with Christ feel and care for the needs of others. They are horrified by the damage they've done in the lives of others and desperately seek to heal any harm done to others. A repentant abuser recognizes their actions and the effects on others. Such a person works desperately to heal the broken souls of the victims. A "If you are damaged by what I have done to you, you need to find Christ" attitude is far from it. A heart filled with true Atonement puts the needs of others before their own. When it comes to family abuse, and domestic violence, psychological abuse, emotional abuse, the steps of Confession and Restitution, emotionally are powerful tools for the healing of the innocent from trauma. "I've repented, they are just so unforgiving" attitude is not repentance.

A mother who is recovering from an abusive relationship understands that the abuse she received was not only damaging to herself, but to her children also. While she may desperately love the father of her children, and desperately want him to return and heal his family, she knows that the abuser must take the steps of Confession and Restitution, in order to protect her children from further abuse. She may have allowed her abuser to reconcile without these steps many times prior, but eventually she cruelly learns that her abuser will relapse without these essential step. While it may break her heart, she must require these steps as a condition of reconciliation.

Here is a simplified article published in the "Friend" the children's LDS church magazine. There are plenty of more in-depth articles on repentance. These steps are simplified to a child's understanding.

How do I repent?

Russell M. Nelson, From “Repentance and Conversion,”

1. The Lord has commanded us to repent, to change our ways, to come unto Him, and be more like Him.

2. There must first be recognition, remorse, then confession.

3. Confession is to be made to the person who has been wronged. Confession should be sincere and not merely an admission of guilt.

4. The next step is restitution—to repair damage done.

5. Then come steps to resolve to do better.

6. Thanks to … the Atonement of Jesus Christ, full forgiveness is given to the sinner who repents and remains free from sin.
Here is a link to a much more thorough outline to real repentance. I fear too many look at Repentance as a way to cover their sins rather than to over come them. https://www.lds.org/manual/gospel-principles/chapter-19-repentance?lang=eng&_r=1