Healthy Adult Child Parent Relations

For those of you who had a difficult Christmas due to challenging relations from adult child/parent relations, I'd like to share a thought. When each of us comes into adulthood there is an emotional event on the part of the Adult Child. A part of coming into adulthood is looking back at one's past and childhood, and deciding what kind of adult, or parent one wants to be. This event could happen anytime, at 21, after their first child is born, anytime and sometimes never. The adult child has to work through their memories, for good or for evil. They may be upset over their memories and have to work through them. How the Parent of the Adult Child responds to this defines their ongoing relationship and even if there will be a continued relationship with them. This is not the time for the Parent to circle the wagons and become defensive, arrogant, dismissive, condemning or otherwise. This process is a HEALTHY of emerging adulthood. If you try to crush it to protect your ego or reputation you can just say goodbye now to any healthy relations. Get over yourself, and guide them through it with respect. Don't blame, don't declare "false memories", no excuses, just respect the memories of the adult child and how they experienced life. I've personally been on both ends of this event. I don't know which end was harder. Supportive, respectful parents are the key. If you do not respect your adult child, they will lose any and all respect they ever had for you.