One complaint I frequently hear from women, is their husbands need to be in control without taking the effort to understand any given situation.
The abusive husband steps into the situation, and takes over. He doesn't ask any questions, doesn't listen to find out what is really going on, and flips out with a ragging temper tantrum, yelling, lecturing, intimidating, dominating, etc.
Last weekend a male friend of mine commented that he and his ex frequently fight, and seemed to suggest that he liberally tears into her. "That's what ex's do" was his explanation.
Then he mentioned that he just gets frustrated with his ex for keeping him out of his children's lives.
Okay, brethren, if you have an ex that you share children with...
Um, be nice.
Handle all crisis's calmly and intelligently. Don't take over the crisis. Ask what is going on. Don't supervise the conversation, or put on dominant know-it-all airs. Listen, then ask what you can do to help.
The more talented and intelligent your children are, the more creative the crisis will be. Married and single parents both have amazing challenges with their children.
If the mother knows that the first step of any crisis is "Calm Daddy down." Believe me, after the divorce, she's not going to turn to you for help unless she absolutely has to in raising the children.
If you have temper tantrums over small situations and normal day to day events, you can count on exclusion as a general rule.
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