What happens when LDS Priesthood Holders Abuse?

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God protects his Daughters and his Priesthood from those who would abuse it. Because the Priesthood of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is real and valid,  I believe God curses those LDS priesthood holders who play advocate for God, while abusing the members and sisters.

I have always felt intense faith in My Lord and Savior.  One of my earliest memories was a prayer, and an answer and feeling the Love of God.   Most the people in my life, are people of strong various faiths, yet share a desire to live their lives honorably in a way to please God. I have always sought to live my life by those guidelines.

I am accustomed to having many of my prayers answered forcefully in the Lords due time.  Sometimes it is longer than I prefer.

On one occasion I had endured so much cruelty, and felt powerless to protect myself.   Mathew had frequently sent me threats, even while he traveled in China, he tried to make sure I would fear him no matter where or how far away he was.

After enduring so much over the years, in my anger and frustration, I had a metal bat.  I kept one in my room and in the living room.  One day, I stared at that bat wanting to beat the hell out of Mathew.   But I knew I couldn't, and if I beat the hell out of him, well, he was stronger and there is this thing called the Law.  I thought, maybe if I could use the force to use the bat?   I tried, but the bat didn't move a millimeter.  Dang it.

So I went to the Lord, I reminded the Lord of all the Lord had done for me.  I reminded the Lord of all Mathew had done to me, and I asked first, "Please beat the hell out of him with a metal bat.  It has to be a metal bat because that would really make me feel good."

Then I remembered  that's not how it works.   "Let me rephrase that Lord.  Mathew is cruel, unkind, and unjust,  he tries to keep me in a state of fear, after he covenanted to protect me.  I know I am not the only one he has offended.   I know you have been protecting him from his own stupid mistakes with others.  I know there are others angry with him like me.   Please deliver him into the hands of his enemies, and make sure they are armed with metal bats.   It has to be metal bats.  Please stop protecting him.   Let him know that you are no longer protecting him.  He is teaching his children that a man can abuse his wife, and continue to threaten her, and live happily ever after. You know I am innocent of all he accuses me of."

Well, the following story is hearsay so the details may be off.   Afterward, as he was walking down an alley in China (who knows what country)  a gang of six men with metal bats attacked him, and beat the hell out of him.  His bruises lasted long enough that when returned to the United States, and he dropped of the children on his next visitation, the intermediary called me to say how scary he looked.

Just as Mathew could threaten me even from China, God is the God of the whole earth.  Where the men in my life have failed to protect me, God will not.  God does not like it when men intimate and bully his daughters.

Since then, many times when I've become angry, I've just remembered the metal Bats of China, and that when justice of men fail here, God will not fail.   And since it was in China, my hands are clean.  The memory of the metal bats gives me faith and Patience in God, and has gotten me through many upsetting periods.

Bible stories are real to me.  Realistic too.   I was taught to apply the scriptures to my own life. 

Many women have clergy, Bishops, Priests, Pastors who abuse their position.  I’ve heard stories from Mormon women who’ve left the church because some LDS Bishop or other church leader made choices that were counter to what God would have them do.

These are the acts of Men, not God, and have no reflection of the Lord's Gospel.  Always remember, even the Apostle of the Lord, Judas, betrayed.   Christ was still Christ, and his Church is still his Church.

First let me clarify, I believe in the Gospel as taught by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  I believe Thomas S Monson is a true Prophet of God called to help us in these difficult times.  I am grateful that my local church leaders, men who work without pay and take care of their own families and hold regular jobs, these men who have been called as my Bishops and Stake Presidents, have stayed true to the charge they were given.

In the LDS Church, all worthy men are given the Priesthood.  I see this priesthood as real, and true.   I’ve seen good men use this Priesthood to serve others faithfully.  I’ve seen many wonderful things.

I’ve also seen the consequences when men pretend to worthy of that priesthood.

Seeing what happens to men who falsely claim to be worthy of the Priesthood, performing sacred ordinances, and entering into the Temple to serve, have only solidified my belief in the Gospel as taught by the LDS Church.

First, the Biblical example; Eli, his sons, and Ichabod.

Eli was a faithful Prophet serving in the Temple in Israel.  Eli allowed his sons who were unfaithful to enter and serve in the temple.  The people came to Eli, and complained to him of how his sons mistreated them in the temple.  Eli did not step up.  He ignored the cries of the abused, and allowed his sons to continue in the temple.  The child Samuel who served in the temple came to Eli, told him of the vision he had from God, and how Eli and his sons would be destroyed for this.  (The short version.)

Shortly afterward, the Israelites were losing a battle.  The Sons of Eli, while unworthy, went to the temple and bore the Arc of the Covenant into battle.  The Israelites were defeated, and their precious Arc of the Covenant was taken by there enemies.  Eli’s sons were slain in Battle.  When Eli heard of it, he died dramatically.  When his daughter in law heard her husband and in-laws were dead, while she was in childbirth, she named the child Ichabod. "The Gory is departed from Israel."

Bishops should not ignore the cries of abused Daughters of God and allow unrighteous, cruel and brutal, unrepentant men to perform priesthood ordinances, and serve in the temple.  Because our loving God hears their cries.

Bishops are limited in their authority.   They do not have the power, nor do they desire to perform complete CSI investigations into people who come for interviews with the Bishop.  The Bishop is effectively the gatekeeper of the temple, and the priesthood.  They interview and determine one’s eligibility for the priesthood, and temple entrance.   One leader told me, a man came in, he had the worst feeling and inside he knew the truth, but the man claimed to be worthy, and the leader had no evidence, and the leader had to turn it over to God, and allow the man what he sought.

There is a difference between when a the Church leader has a feeling, and when the church leader has been told by those who know that a man is a rapist, and ignore it because the man seems nice enough and is persuasive enough.  Can you say Ichabod?

I try to limit my interaction with the man who raped me.  But, circumstances as they are, and due to responsibility I have, I have no choice at times.  He can be nasty and cruel in the simplest of required interactions. I have gone to my leaders and testified to them.  But they are not his leaders and have no authority over him.  All they can do is pass it on, and let his LDS leaders choose.  His Priesthood Leaders have never responded to any accounts.

It’s been explained to me that when an unworthy man performs a priesthood ordinance, the ordinance is still valid, but God holds the man accountable.   It is my witness that this is true.

I’ve been told by Mathew Fleming the man who raped me, that my opinion, feelings, and soul are worthless.  That my thoughts ignorant.  I have been degraded countless times and that it doesn’t matter that I was raped.

But I know that God cares because God proved it though that very same man. 

A sacred ordinance was performed by that man who degrades me for sport. During it, I could not prevent the event, and I was required to attend.  During the ordinance I reminded the Lord of the awful cruelty of the man, and asked the Lord to hold the rapist accountable for the example he set.  As I hold the Priesthood sacred, and knowing that God does not like to be mocked, I reminded the Lord, “He’s mocking you.” was said more than a few times in my silent prayer. Outwardly I barely kept my composure.

As he man spoke the words of the freely worded ordinance, I was stunned and felt peace in the Justice of God.  In his own words he chose for the ordinance, he pronounced what I knew would be own curse.  The curse he unwittingly brought upon himself, promptly followed.  Two months later he asked me confused, “How did this happen?”

I did not answer that question. But it happened because the Priesthood is real, and God protects it from those who mock him with it.  The curse he brought upon himself by pretending to be worthy of the Priesthood lasted over one year. God will not be mocked.

I don’t think God likes it, when a man degrade his daughters then attempt to represent God the Father.

I knew then, again, that God is real.  That God loves us and does not like to be mocked.  And despite all Mathew says, what he did to me was real, and was wrong.  God does care about the cruelties given to me, and others.  I feel that God was protecting his Holy Priesthood.

The temple is a sacred place to me.   As I’ve tried to limit interaction with the man who raped me as much as possible, the temple has been a great sanctuary, blessing me.  It’s been one place I could go I believed he dared not go without repenting.

Unknown to me, there was  a temple ordinance he sought, that required his Bishop contacting me and my Bishop first.   Mathew's bishop never contacted me as he was required.  Months after I was told through the grapevine.  

After learning this, I tried to return to the temple, but as I entered the celestial room it tore me up.  Fear that in that one sacred place, I was not safe from the rapist even in the most Holy and Sacred places.  The one place God would want his daughters to feel safe and his love was no longer so.  It was devastating. 

I entered the temple three separate times afterward.  Each time, the thought of entering that sacred safe room, knowing the man who raped could be there, devastated me, and it was no longer a sacred holy place.  I could not feel the love and safety of God in the Holiest of places because of the boldness of the rapist.

You cannot stand in Holy Places if you do not keep your Holy Places Holy.

Confused, I went to the Lord in Prayer, in my own room.  “Shut it down.  Please God, Shut it down.  Shut it down. I’m can't feel safe in there, clean it up, and rededicate this Temple.”  I asked over and over again in tearful prayer.

A few months laterit was announced that our temple would in fact be shut down, gutted and rededicated, that we did not know how long and that it would be rededicated.

The temple is even now shut down, and being cleaned out.  It will be rededicated. 

Bishops, if you don’t want the sisters of the church begging the Lord to shut down temples, stop ignoring cries of the abused.  Spousal rape is real and a violation of the most sacred and holy covenants.  The Power of the Priesthood is intended to protect and heal in God's holy name, not rape and destroy.

Every Sunday the Young Women of the Church Recite, “We are Daughters of our Heavenly Father, who loves us, and we love him.”  God does love his Daughters fiercely.

So many times I was torn down, those words would come to my mind.  So many times God has reminded me that I am of worth.  That my thoughts count. My efforts count.  My soul is of worth That I am valued no matter what others say.

Watching God protect His priesthood in the LDS Church strengthens my faith that it is the True Priesthood of God, despite the failings of men.

Mathew can invalidate me to anyone else, but not to God.

My calling as a Mother is sacred and I deserve to be treated with respect.

Holy places must be kept Holy for all his Daughters, or God Himself will take them away.

It is my witness that all these things are true, In the Name of Jesus Christ my ultimate Savior and Protector,

Natalie Marie Pye (Fleming)