Anyone weak imbecile can engulf themselves in anger, and act out. Anyone can come up with a good insult. Anyone can unleash their worst to degrade another human being. Anyone can choose to use all they know of the worst to destroy another soul.
Retaliating is not, nor has it ever been strength or power.
The only strength or power that exists in power over self.
It takes strength to stand strong and firm when insulted.
It takes strength and character to speak kindly and patiently when someone is cursing and swearing at you.
It takes strength to listen patiently while someone vents verbal vomit all over you.
Then to turn around, stay on relevant non-abusive topic and say only that which is needed to be said.
Unfortunately for me, I have years of this experience. As many others have.
Any imbecile will believe that any gap in their own personal understanding of the given situation is an intentional lie or deception. So yes, they will accuse you of lying any time they do not understand something. Ignore it and continue to only say that which is required.
There is no power over others, only power over self.
That being said,
Abusers do not stop abusing until you stop them. Healthy people, if they are unkind to you, you respond with non-threatening kindness, and they realize they were wrong and become kind.
Abusers keep abusing until they are stopped. They see your kindness and self control as submission, as an acknowledgment of their right to abuse, and as their superiority.
Sometimes you have to let that go. It doesn't matter "What they think". Just that you do that which is required and go on. You may not have the power to change what they think. You can only control yourself.
I was raised to obediently and kindly submit to any abuse given to me. That is not what I am saying. Submitting to abuse is in and of itself the sin of Unrighteous Submission is the counterpart to Unrighteous Dominion. Unrighteous Submission perpetuates abuse both of yourself and your children. One of the hardest lessons in life is to stand strong, not submit, but to simply dominate yourself, and bravely accept or deny requests at your own judgment regardless of how it is presented, but based on the validity of the request itself.
You must learn that "No." is a complete sentence. You do not have to explain yourself. You are a valid human being, and you can just say, "No."
You may get a longwinded tirade of hate and just reply, "Yes" or "No" without explanation or expounding.
The hardest part is when it is someone you love hurting you. Fighting back is difficult because no matter what they do, you just can't find it in you to fight in a way that hurts them.
Retaliating is not, nor has it ever been strength or power.
The only strength or power that exists in power over self.
It takes strength to stand strong and firm when insulted.
It takes strength and character to speak kindly and patiently when someone is cursing and swearing at you.
It takes strength to listen patiently while someone vents verbal vomit all over you.
Then to turn around, stay on relevant non-abusive topic and say only that which is needed to be said.
Unfortunately for me, I have years of this experience. As many others have.
Any imbecile will believe that any gap in their own personal understanding of the given situation is an intentional lie or deception. So yes, they will accuse you of lying any time they do not understand something. Ignore it and continue to only say that which is required.
There is no power over others, only power over self.
That being said,
Abusers do not stop abusing until you stop them. Healthy people, if they are unkind to you, you respond with non-threatening kindness, and they realize they were wrong and become kind.
Abusers keep abusing until they are stopped. They see your kindness and self control as submission, as an acknowledgment of their right to abuse, and as their superiority.
Sometimes you have to let that go. It doesn't matter "What they think". Just that you do that which is required and go on. You may not have the power to change what they think. You can only control yourself.
I was raised to obediently and kindly submit to any abuse given to me. That is not what I am saying. Submitting to abuse is in and of itself the sin of Unrighteous Submission is the counterpart to Unrighteous Dominion. Unrighteous Submission perpetuates abuse both of yourself and your children. One of the hardest lessons in life is to stand strong, not submit, but to simply dominate yourself, and bravely accept or deny requests at your own judgment regardless of how it is presented, but based on the validity of the request itself.
You must learn that "No." is a complete sentence. You do not have to explain yourself. You are a valid human being, and you can just say, "No."
You may get a longwinded tirade of hate and just reply, "Yes" or "No" without explanation or expounding.
The hardest part is when it is someone you love hurting you. Fighting back is difficult because no matter what they do, you just can't find it in you to fight in a way that hurts them.
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