Conscience Impairment. (CI)
The prefrontal cortex of our brain, is where doctors claim our conscience sets. Any Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) can severely damage this section, especially in early childhood. Just as we can loose our hearing and eyesight, we can loose our Conscience through no fault of our own. Those without a functioning Conscience are often referred to as sociopaths. Sociopaths have no sense of right or wrong. They do have a sense of their own personal needs and wants, and this replaces their conscience. However one of the basic needs of the Sociopathic form of Conscience Impairment is social respect. They want people to love them, and will conform to the social dictates of who they are with to achieve that affection. The Conscience Impaired will conform instantly to the morals of whomever they are with. Just as the blind need guide dogs, and the deaf need closed captioning, lip reading, and sign language, or prosthetics, the Conscience Impaired need others to provide a conscience. They use the people around them as sort of a prosthetic conscience. Depending on the degree of Conscience Impairment, if the people around them have high moral standards, the Conscience Impaired, will be guided by them, and can even make it to heaven. Believe it or not. However if the Conscience Impaired is surrounded by those with a low moral code, or those who turn a blind eye, and allowed secrecy, the Conscience Impaired will wreck havoc. There is no cure for these forms of Conscience Impairment, only management.
Unfortunately, the Conscience Impaired make the cover up of their disability a full time job, and few are aware of their condition. They crave secrecy. Usually by the time you figure come to understand them, you’ve been literally raped robbed, or even murdered. The Conscience Impaired feel no remorse or guilt. They may be upset or ashamed when discovered but they have no remorse for hurting others. Others often mistake no conscience with a clear conscience. Because they appear the same. The Conscience Impaired interact confidently and sweetly, and are even charming. There is no way to read them. They can lie without any flinching.
The Conscience Impaired depend on secrecy or “privacy” to get away with cruelty. They are severely secretive as it is necessary to maintain dual realities. The Conscience Impaired will only commit cruelty if allowed secrecy. They only act out when they can get away with it.
While most people advise running from the Conscience Impaired, it’s not always possible. By the time you figure out they have no conscience, it’s too late. The family of the Conscience Impaired makes the difference of how honest, and fulfilling the life of the Conscience Impaired can be. The family is strategically best suited for managing the individual with Conscience Impairment.
Their are four kinds of Families of Abusers in times of personal crisis I would like to look at. Yes there are more varieties than these, but for the sake of my limited knowledge, I will focus on only these four. The individual members of the abusers family may fall in to separate categories creating a interesting Family Ensemble. If the abuser is Conscience Impaired, each family can make a huge difference. Because most of the Conscience Impaired are not caught by the Civil Justice System, the family is the last line of defense.
A. The Actively Involved Family. The Actively Involved Family (AIF) participates in many aspects of each members life. Beyond birthdays and special occasions. They talk several days a week to each member and know what is happening in each others lives. They are nosey and may be very annoying. This family is actively involved in helping each other through the regular adversities and joys of life. The potential for hidden abuse is lessened but not completely eliminated in this family. The AIF may not be nice, or beautiful, charming or tactful. They may even be a bit mean, but they do have an idea what is happening in the family and just knowing that the family of a potential abuser knows what is going on eliminates secrecy, and can be one of many deterrents of more severe abuse.
B. The Passive Family with Integrity (PFwI). The PFwI are not involved enough to deter serious or fatal abuse and personal crisis, but when confronted with the reality of their family members abuses and crimes, the PFwI take the time to learn the truth, then stand up for the truth and their daughter-in-law or sister-in-law. The PFwI will tell the abuser they need help, encourage the abuser to repair and pay for their crimes, attend anger management and church, go to prison, and seek protection for the abused and even provide aid to the abused wife themselves if necessary.
While abuse can and does happen in this family, as with the Mark Hacking family, the PFwI steps up to the plate to a swifter resolution of the crisis. The brothers of Mark Hacking confronted Mark to find out the truth. And though it took time, Mark Hacking provided the information to the police to find Lori Hacking’s body. Mark Hacking eventually plead guilty and the nation watched a “relatively” quick resolution. While Lori died, at least her family heard the truth in the end. The PFwI understand and believe in the process of personal repentance or reformation. The PFwI understands it is better for society and their brother or son to pay for their crimes now, and even possibly reform, than to smooth it over and let their brother eventually face God without any prior attempted resolution.
C. The Family of Solidarity (FoS). The FoS protect their own without regard to others. They have no idea what happening between the abusive husband and his wife. The FoS do not care what the truth is. They may take a superficial glance at what is happening in the abusive situation in order to tell themselves they know what is happening and justify the abuser. Abusers in this family do what they want without regard for the truth, then manipulate the truth to justify themselves. If their families are ignorant enough, the perpetrators don't even need a portion of the truth, they can fabricate complete lies to justify their brutality without question from their families. If the abused wife turns to them for help, they will defend their brother/son to the bitter end. The FoS will mock, belittle, reprimand and simply be annoyed by the abused wife’s cries for help. They believe they are strong by standing up for the abuser to the point of blind ignorance. They may consider the abused wife’s cries for help as mere slander, and defend their “Family Name”. Some may consider ignoring the wife’s cries for help as righteous because they are above listening to such filth or participating in ugly squabbling.
The Scott Peterson family is a prime example. They believed in their son/brother to the bitter end. The Peterson families denial of reality perpetuated the crisis for years as the nation watched the trial of Lacy Peterson's murderer run on and on.
These families live without loyalty to principles of a true code of honor to a higher law, but to the law of self. They follow the false principle of “If you want to do it, feel compelled to do it, than it must be right.” This is a terrible principle to teach the Conscience Impaired. Everyone feels compelled to do things that are wrong at times. If we fail to recognize that they are wrong, we need those around us to correct the Conscience Impaired.
D. Last but certainly not least, we have the Manson Family Values, (MFV). The MFV doesn’t care about why or if, but will even help justify murder of the abused wife and even provide a sock to shut up her annoying cries of help, and hand the husband a shovel. They follow the three S’s, “Shoot, Shovel, and Shut up.”
But the good news is. Despite how overwhelming it feels during the crisis of abuse, there is a God. When the Laws of Men fail, and families fail, the Universe has laws of physics and truth and justice that cannot be denied. Each of these families will eventually get their true reward by acts of God. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. This law of physics applies to all aspects of the Universe. Where and when justice is denied by man, sit back and watch. It may take time, and insane patience but the Justice of the Universe can be quite eloquent. And if you let the Universe provide it, rather than taking things in your own hands, the punishment is better that what you could ever come up with, and your hands are clean of any crime. If you want to, God is still the God of the Old Testament, and you can even give suggestions. God has declared, “Vengeance is mine”. When God executes justice, He makes sure it’s done right.
Another resource for managing the Conscience Impaired, is church. Yes Church. Many people are shocked and horrified when they find out Brother Jim rapes little boys. How could a man so sweet, so faithful, so doctrinally intelligent be so bad. The church must be false.
Organized religion provides a great place for the Conscience Impaired to learn “correct” behavior. The Conscience Impaired has a need to fit in. And Organized Religion provides a way for the Conscience Impaired to learn every moral code to fit it. The Conscience Impaired are attracted to church, because most people who attend are trusting and loving and earnestly seeking good, and it lends them respectability. They would never know what is lurking behind the Conscience Impaired charming smile.
While it seems sick, Church provides a list or right and wrong, social training, sometimes a small degree of monitoring. The Conscience Impaired’s ultimate goal is fitting in and hiding their lack of conscience. As long as the Conscience Impaired is kept focused on fitting in, in a public environment they can be kept in line (at least a little).
However, the serious drawback to the church going Conscience Impaired is too many innocent willing victims. Active church attenders need to use common sense. They need to avoid the pitfalls of assuming righteousness by appearance, and follow basic rules of personal and family safety. Regular church attendance by someone else is no excuse to soften the rules you live by that protect you. The Conscience Impaired need to attend church, if we follow personal safety guidelines taught in Elementary school, with everyone, it’s not a problem.
And always remember sisters, if you see Brother Bundy with a broken leg, trying to get his groceries into his VW Bug in a dark secluded section of the parking lot, call a Brother from church to help him out, don't help him yourself.
