The need to be in control in a crisis.

One complaint I frequently hear from women, is their husbands need to be in control without taking the effort to understand any given situation.

The abusive husband steps into the situation, and takes over.  He doesn't ask any questions, doesn't listen to find out what is really going on, and flips out with a ragging temper tantrum, yelling, lecturing, intimidating, dominating,  etc.

Last weekend a male friend of mine commented that he and his ex frequently fight, and seemed to suggest that he liberally tears into her.  "That's what ex's do" was his explanation.

Then he mentioned that he just gets frustrated with his ex for keeping him out of his children's lives.

Okay, brethren, if you have an ex that you share children with...

Um, be nice.  

Handle all crisis's calmly and intelligently.   Don't take over the crisis.  Ask what is going on.  Don't supervise the conversation, or put on dominant know-it-all airs.   Listen, then ask what you can do to help.

The more talented and intelligent your children are, the more creative the crisis will be.   Married and single parents both have amazing challenges with their children.

If the mother knows that the first step of any crisis is "Calm Daddy down."  Believe me, after the divorce, she's not going to turn to you for help unless she absolutely has to in raising the children.

If you have temper tantrums over small situations and normal day to day events, you can count on exclusion as a general rule.

True Love is Not Blind

Can one begin to describe how it feels, to have someone precious to you, look at you, and know everything about you, good and evil, and still love you and hold you as dear in their heart.

True meaningful love is not based on lies and pretending.   Love is best realized in reality.

What a relief it is for someone to see you at your worst, and have them smile back at you in Love.

Oh the torture of pretended Love based on deception.

I hope and pray that my children can learn this kind of love.  I think they have learned this love more than I know.

I guess we teach it when we don't freak out when they come to us with their personal disasters.

True Love is Truthful

If you have mistreated others and caused pain, afflictions, and suffering in the lives of others, and you want to gain love and respect of friends, brothers, sisters, spouse, parents and children, you have two options.

A.  Lex Luthor:  Kill the guy who knows the truth on your wedding day and spend the rest of your life hiding the the truth by threatening those who would expose you.

B.  Confess the truth, testify of what you did, listen to those you hurt and the destructive impact you've had in the lives of others.  Forsake your corruption by recognizing how you hurt others.  Change.  Stop threatening.  Accept the truth, take ownership of your actions.

Once you have hurt others, this is the only true and honorable path to gaining the Love and respect you desire.

Pray to God for help in repairing the consequences of your actions in the lives of others.

You and you alone have the  power to determine the validity and honor of your sacred relationships.