As I've come to know God's purpose for me in life, it is great and I am often stunned and amazed.
I want to work to save the world, heal families, heal the earth, accomplish Peace In our Time, end global hunger.
You know what, I've been given the opportunity to learn just how to do all these things. The big picture has always been my drive.
After years of research, I was on a call with the the head of a non-US National Space Agency last week. "Get the material together and I can get it to our President." he said, as in the President of their nation. Yeah I have a plan to green the harshest of Earth's deserts. Its not as hard as it seems, as many are already doing it. I just takes the right work. They just need a custom plan.
I've had science professors across the world ask to use my materials in Universities. I don't even have a bachelors degree yet. I'm not even getting my degree in the field the work I've done is in. I will by the end of the year.
The material requested is non-fatalistic climate management material. Super cool shift in the whole climate management conversation. I found out a Navy Admiral was sharing my work!
And the father of my children tried to reduce me to just a DPR. A Decorative P**** Receptacle. It's all he really wanted and all he really got in the end.
When he came home at night and I asked to share my ideas with him after listening to him for an hour, "No." he would answer and go to sleep. He had no interest in me as a human being. He had no concern for my welfare and showed disregard for our children.
I'll never forget when our youngest was only two weeks old. It was 2am and I had not slept yet, how he demanded I appease him. When his appeasement was completed, he lectured me that "I should not have to put up with a wife that complains about physical pain or feeling degraded during sex." Then he lectured me on my body, and grabbed each part of my body and said what he wanted it to be shaped like. I cried silently in the dark that night, wholly shamed and degraded.
"A body like Jamie Lee Curtis and a but like Jennifer Lopez."
When he was finished, our youngest baby woke, I went and cared for her, then finally climbed back into bed to sleep.
Whenever I was pregnant, he always showed more concern that I remain in a perfect desirable shape for him than for the welfare of our children.
A month later when she was in the emergency room unable to breath, the doctors swarmed to care for her and stabilize her breathing as she has RSV he called and demanded, "You need to come home and watch the kids so I can make my 9 o'clock to China!" "I need to stay and care for her and nurse her." Trying to explain my worth as a mother to our child. "You are just food to her! The nurses can take care of her."
I had to make arrangements from the hospital for the care of our children. I didn't have a cell phone and the hospital only made local calls, so I had to play a telephone game a to make all the arrangements.
During our stay in the hospital I began the grasp the horror of what he had become, and that I had to do everything to protect me and the children. His horrific disregard for his own child, that can only come from someone who's corruption is complete.
What an unbelievable pig. How sickened God must have been, that I thought I should submit to such irrational disgusting behavior.
God always knew how amazing I am.
I wanted to be a good mom, a good wife, and raise a beautiful family, to provide a wonderful loving home for the children who chose us as parents, and my husband looked down on me for that. He mocked me for it. He mocked me for my fidelity in private then told others I was unfaithful. I had no clue what he was telling others to justify his cruelty.
During my last childbirth I had a vision, a great and powerful vision. I saw all the women of the earth that were praying like me for deliverance. I felt their soul, I felt their suffering, I saw them, I knew them. It overwhelmed me.
The sad part is God answered my prayers with kindness and wrath when I asked, and I always thought it was because those I prayed for. The very idea that I as a daughter of God was worthy and worth enough for my prayers to be answered was beyond my comprehension.
Over the years I've continually looked for the ways and means for God to help all of us, and what we can do.
We can do so much to heal. Understanding our worth and our potential is the beginning.
I am more than a DPR, I am a Beloved Daughter of God endowed with love, purpose, capacity, intelligence and divine knowledge for good.
Don't listen to anyone who tries to reduce you to below them.
