So many women tell me the same story.
She couldn't comprehend any negative, bad or malicious intentions of her husband. His cruel actions were from misunderstanding her intentions. She just needed to prove her kind intentions and show patience.
He couldn't comprehend any kind, thoughtful, or sincere intentions of his wife.
Um, those who are cruel and unkind cannot comprehend those who are kind and giving. They see kind actions and come up with negative intentions for them.
Those who are kind, loving, and giving cannot comprehend the heart and mind of one who is cruel and unkind. They keep coming up with innocent cause of cruel actions.
Ouch.
Friday, March 19, 2010
He'll be kind if I just do everything right.
So often women tell themselves,
"If I have the perfect body, keep a perfect house, control the situation so absolutely no conflict or upsetting thing happens, if I have the children in complete control so they never say or do anything to upset my husband, if I pray and love and do everything possible to control the situation to my husband's desires. Then nothing will upset him. He will be happy and kind."
"If I can just keep everything perfect, my husband will be a good man."
Um, here is the problem with this logic.
People who are good and kind, well, they are good and kind.
Good people don't need perfect conditions to be good.
You keep telling yourself your husband is just doing thru a difficult time and will be good and kind, if you meet every demand.
That's not what "good" is.
Good is good. Good is not conditional. Good is not constantly finding reasons to behave cruelly and hurtful.
Quit telling yourself he'll be good under the right conditions.
Good and kind doesn't need perfect conditions to be good and kind.
It's just another lie you keep telling yourself that is hurting you and hiding the truth.
"If I have the perfect body, keep a perfect house, control the situation so absolutely no conflict or upsetting thing happens, if I have the children in complete control so they never say or do anything to upset my husband, if I pray and love and do everything possible to control the situation to my husband's desires. Then nothing will upset him. He will be happy and kind."
"If I can just keep everything perfect, my husband will be a good man."
Um, here is the problem with this logic.
People who are good and kind, well, they are good and kind.
Good people don't need perfect conditions to be good.
You keep telling yourself your husband is just doing thru a difficult time and will be good and kind, if you meet every demand.
That's not what "good" is.
Good is good. Good is not conditional. Good is not constantly finding reasons to behave cruelly and hurtful.
Quit telling yourself he'll be good under the right conditions.
Good and kind doesn't need perfect conditions to be good and kind.
It's just another lie you keep telling yourself that is hurting you and hiding the truth.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Silence
If someone you love is abusing you, the worst thing you can do to "help" the abuser, is to be silent.
As long as you are silent, the abuse will continue.
I know you have a hundred and one reasons to be silent.
They are all lies.
Speak up.
As long as you are silent, the abuse will continue.
I know you have a hundred and one reasons to be silent.
They are all lies.
Speak up.
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