Saturday, December 9, 2023

Illuminati and Swiss Cheese Brains

     It's important to understand the way the brain works. Where is your swiss cheese?



    Some people cannot recall context or episodic memory. They don't recall the order of events. Their memories are like puzzle pieces shoved together despite the fact they don't match physically or by color.


Timelines, who, what, every bit of context, all of that is out of order.

    You can never remember that which you do not perceive. If someone does not perceive context they will never recall context.

    30 years ago I came home and told my husband about my crazy coworker who believed in some secret organization called the "Illuminati". We had one conversation.  I thought it was all crazy, that the man was crazy.

    Ever since then, my former husband tells people that I believe in conspiracy theories, the Illuminati.  That's just the way his mind works.

    Yes, I love the X-Files. Its entertainment.  I understand the difference between entertainment and reality. For someone to say that because I love X-Files means I believe in alien-human replicants is nuts. 

    It's been 30 years since one single conversation where I spoke of a crazy coworker, and I am still labeled as someone who believes in the "Illuminati".

    This is a disability and should be understood as such. But if the person does not understand the weaknesses of their mind, and covers it up, they become a hazard.

    I have weaknesses in my abilities, I used to stutter, and my semantic memory is the first to go under stress. What that means is I sometimes struggle to find the words to express myself. Learning languages is a brick wall for me. It's important to recognize our personal Swiss cheese and find the tools to manage them. Language is my Swiss cheese. What is your Swiss Cheese?






    


Tuesday, September 26, 2023

Precocious Puberty and Hormone therapy creams.

Sadly I knew about the dangers of hormone therapy creams back in 2006-2010. I warned one of my best friends as I noted her male dachshund looked like he had an active litter of pups due to her personal use of estrogen cream. I warned her that these creams affect those around them.

I had no idea men used testosterone creams and that my children were possibly exposed to them. My children were not exposed in my home, as no adults in my home used any. I'm just not that stupid.

What terrible side affects to children, grandchildren, and any child exposed to adults using hormone creams face?

A 7 year old girl may suddenly and fully develop. When young girls experience puberty, they finish growing taller and may have additional reproductive problems.

An older more developed female child may have extreme and possible painful uterine problems leading to extensive medical interventions, and/or emotional problems.

Young males can develop early.

Already developed young males may experience extreme and disabling mood swings.

Hormone creams can wreak havoc in a family. 

It even more terrible when you have no idea what is happening or why. When you think maybe you are doing something wrong, that you're just a bad parent as your children fall into physical and emotional chaos.

Because you don't know about the creams used and your children's exposure, your doctors may sit you down and tell you your child likely has a brain tumor in the hypothalamus.

Doctors may prescribe what should have been unnecessary therapy drugs leading to dangerous side effects such as heart rhythm problems that can put your child in threat of sudden heart arrhythmia

I knew that hormone creams were dangerous so I warned my friend about the impact of these creams on her dog 14 years ago.

I was so close to knowing, and yet I was clueless.

To protect your children, please refrain from using these creams and make sure that all adults in your children's lives do not use them around your children. 

As adults who have already had children, we should be willing to endure the challenges of growing older without threatening the reproductive futures of our children and grandchildren.

Friday, August 11, 2023

My Calling is More than a DPR

As I've come to know God's purpose for me in life, it is great and I am often stunned and amazed. 

I want to work to save the world, heal families, heal the earth, accomplish Peace In our Time, end global hunger.

You know what, I've been given the opportunity to learn just how to do all these things. The big picture has always been my drive.

After years of research, I was on a call with the the head of a non-US National Space Agency last week.  "Get the material together and I can get it to our President." he said, as in the President of their nation. Yeah I have a plan to green the harshest of Earth's deserts. Its not as hard as it seems, as many are already doing it. I just takes the right work. They just need a custom plan.

I've had science professors across the world ask to use my materials in Universities. I don't even have a bachelors degree yet. I'm not even getting my degree in the field the work I've done is in. I will by the end of the year. 

The material requested is non-fatalistic climate management material. Super cool shift in the whole climate management conversation. I found out a Navy Admiral was sharing my work!

And the father of my children tried to reduce me to just a DPR. A Decorative P**** Receptacle. It's all he really wanted and all he really got in the end.

When he came home at night and I asked to share my ideas with him after listening to him for an hour, "No." he would answer and go to sleep. He had no interest in me as a human being. He had no concern for my welfare and showed disregard for our children.

I'll never forget when our youngest was only two weeks old. It was 2am and I had not slept yet, how he demanded I appease him. When his appeasement was completed, he lectured me that "I should not have to put up with a wife that complains about physical pain or feeling degraded during sex." Then he lectured me on my body, and grabbed each part of my body and said what he wanted it to be shaped like. I cried silently in the dark that night, wholly shamed and degraded.

"A body like Jamie Lee Curtis and a but like Jennifer Lopez."

When he was finished, our youngest baby woke, I went and cared for her, then finally climbed back into bed to sleep.

Whenever I was pregnant, he always showed more concern that I remain in a perfect desirable shape for him than for the welfare of our children.

A month later when she was in the emergency room unable to breath, the doctors swarmed to care for her and stabilize her breathing as she has RSV he called and demanded, "You need to come home and watch the kids so I can make my 9 o'clock to China!" "I need to stay and care for her and nurse her." Trying to explain my worth as a mother to our child. "You are just food to her! The nurses can take care of her."

I had to make arrangements from the hospital for the care of our children. I didn't have a cell phone and the hospital only made local calls, so I had to play a telephone game a to make all the arrangements.

During our stay in the hospital I began the grasp the horror of what he had become, and that I had to do everything to protect me and the children. His horrific disregard for his own child, that can only come from someone who's corruption is complete.

What an unbelievable pig. How sickened God must have been, that I thought I should submit to such irrational disgusting behavior.

God always knew how amazing I am.

I wanted to be a good mom, a good wife, and raise a beautiful family, to provide a wonderful loving home for the children who chose us as parents, and my husband looked down on me for that. He mocked me for it. He mocked me for my fidelity in private then told others I was unfaithful. I had no clue what he was telling others to justify his cruelty. 

During my last childbirth I had a vision, a great and powerful vision. I saw all the women of the earth that were praying like me for deliverance. I felt their soul, I felt their suffering, I saw them, I knew them.  It overwhelmed me. 

The sad part is God answered my prayers with kindness and wrath when I asked, and I always thought it was because those I prayed for. The very idea that I as a daughter of God was worthy and worth enough for my prayers to be answered was beyond my comprehension.

Over the years I've continually looked for the ways and means for God to help all of us, and what we can do. 

We can do so much to heal. Understanding our worth and our potential is the beginning.

I am more than a DPR, I am a Beloved Daughter of God endowed with love, purpose, capacity, intelligence and divine knowledge for good.

Don't listen to anyone who tries to reduce you to below them.

 


Sunday, October 9, 2022

Herodias

 Herodias was a beautiful and exotic woman. She used her power, her beauty, and her sexuality to influence Herod to commit acts of evil against the innocent. Herod wanted the approval of the Jewish people as he was not born Hebrew but converted to Judaism. Herod Antipas built the temple to please the Jews. It was his nephew Herod Agrippa I, who slew John the baptist. 

Herod was intrigued by John the Baptism and listened to him, but ultimately Herodias persuaded Herod to kill John the Baptist and deliver John's head on a platter to her. Herod slew John the Baptist then participated in crucifying Jesus to prove his righteousness.

That is how I see women who use their influence to turn the hearts of the father from their covenant children and cast them out. That's how I see men who do the same with their wives.

 

There are those who are violently angry that I exist. It's true. I know that for certain people, I am not allowed to exist. But here's the thing, I do exist. I'm a good person and I've always been a good person. There are those who find that premise offensive too. I live in a bizarre reality. 21 years ago, my husband came home from a fishing trip with his brothers. When he left, he kissed me and told me he loved me. When he returned, he was angry with me, with an anger that was terrifying to me. He was angry that I was pregnant against his will, although the conception was against my will. He believed that everything I did from that point on had evil intentions. That I was out to control him. That he could be controlled. He seemed to believe he could read my mind and determined that everything I did was for evil. He believed that every condition that existed was an intentional action on my part to have dominion over him. I was completely confused and bewildered by his words and actions. I thought that if I was kind enough, loving enough, sincere enough, and sacrificed enough that he would see the sincerity of my soul. The more faithful I was the more I proved in his eyes that I was manipulatively evil. He became dangerous for me.
One night I prayed that I could have physical evidence of my honorable intentions on one matter. When I woke up the next morning I was reminded of a few items. I brought them to him to show him and say, see, "these were not my intentions, and here's why." Physical proof of my innocence angered him even more. I realized then that he needed me to be guilty for him to justify himself. Since that year, his being has been dependent on my guilt, my continual guilt. Every good I have done has been seen with evil intent.
Our beautiful daughter was kind and sweet and delightful. She would come to me every day and take me by the hand and say, "Mommy, teach me to play piano. Mommy, teach me to read.” Just as there is physical death, there is spiritual death. Just as there is physical murder, there is the murder of the soul. Well, our beautiful daughter was amazing, then in mid-elementary school, she became angry, confused, and distrustful. I decided to show her loving kindness and patience and did my best to show her how to calmly handle disappointment by example. After over 6 months of her fighting the simplest things, as we were sitting together on the couch she suddenly said, “Daddy says you are evil and have evil intentions when you do good. A bitter tree can’t bring good fruit.” Oh, I died inside that day even a little more for my little girl. I worked so hard for her, to show her how much I loved her, but what is it to be loved by an “evil” mother. She went downhill for years. Self-harm, drugs, suicidal idealization, the works. After she went downhill her father said, “She’s not allowed to come to my house.” She was an adoring Daddy’s girl. This broke her even more, and he left a gaping hole in her heart that I could never fill. After many years she stabilized. But the road was pure hell. There were times I was overcome and lost my crap. I love my child so much and am still so angry about what was done to her.
  Twenty years ago, the week of 9/11 when this all started and I prayed, the answer I always got was “look at the Holocaust.” That was the worse answer imaginable. I refused to do so for several years. Finally, I looked at the history and propaganda of genocide and hate and found the same logic. Someone, an individual, or a group exists to control you. Everything they do is to control you, sex, propagation, growing a garden, brushing your teeth, anything is to further their intent on your dominion. In the 20 years of co-parenting, I was constantly confronted with invented beliefs of ill intent on my part. None of those beliefs he had contained any part of reality. I loved him. I loved our children. I was faithful to him, our children, and most of all to God. The more he acted on his belief that I was guilty of some imagined evil, the more his own validity depended on my guilt. But none of that guilt has ever existed.
When we punish those, we perceive them as evil, and how we punish them, leaves us in a position of our own innocence depending on their guilt. Everything I do is based on those terrible lessons.
Everything I do is based on the vision I was given at the birth of my last child when I saw and felt the suffering of all women. I saw the suffering of all women together and felt them. Even amongst them all, I asked God for help. I was promised the aid that I required and instructed to work for good. The door to that holy place, where I felt every other woman, is always ajar, and I always feel it. The only peace I will ever have, is in working to find ways to serve these women. Peace in the world. Overcoming famine, overcoming hunger, overcoming war and conflict, overcoming the ignorance of hate.
Projecting evil intent on the innocent is at the root of all conflicts. It is how you bring people to hatred for the innocent. This is why the Savior taught us to be kind to those we perceive as evil.

Saturday, February 5, 2022

Ditto

 How many times have you heard the same story from yet another woman. We can just list all the events A-Z and say:

"I experienced A-G, L, M, R-T, and Z".

Just got off the phone with an old friend who worked in Health and Welfare, she heard case after case, the same old stories and experiences every day.

She heard it from Members of her Church.

She heard it from members of other churches.

She heard it from members of no church.

She heard it from politician's wives.

She heard it from preacher's wives.

She heard it from the rich.

She heard it from the poor.

She heard it from Phds.

She heard it from drop outs.

I asked her who she didn't hear it from. Silence.

Our stories are old. Sadly our stories are common. We are not alone. 

The belief that we are the only one who experiences theses things, that we are alone can destroy us.

We can support each other. We can overcome these.

Monday, November 8, 2021

Persuasion vs Manipulation

Just because you are persuasive doesn't mean your are manipulate.

Those who present a weak argument can just claim the other side is manipulative.

Persuasive people respects your intelligence.

Persuasive people presents all the facts.

Persuasive people are sincere.

Persuasive people have a legitimate cause. 

Persuasive people appeal to ethos, logos and and pathos. (Ethics, Logic, Emotion)

Claiming that someone who does all these is "manipulative" is a cheap cop out. Its a way of writing someone off. Never having to summit your self to Ethics, Logic or Emotional Intelligence..

Its incredibly easy to write truth off as manipulation.

What is manipulation?  

Fractional Truths. Like the article telling of 300,000 ballots sent for a recount (without ever stating it wasn't even Trumps votes, but a city council election). This feeds emotional ignorance, it's unethical and fractional truth.

An article quoting a Judge ruling in Trump's favor, but not explaining the judge was a dissenting judge against a majority opinion. More emotional ignorance.

Manipulations creates puppets. Puppets are creepy and scary to be around.

There is a big difference between persuasion and manipulation.

I can be persuasive if allowed to speak. I respect the ethics, intelligence and emotions of others when I persuade. I like people who keep their head, ask intelligent questions, provide challenge and keep me honest.

People who don't allow you to speak and explain yourself, they are the true manipulators afraid of truth.

Micro and Macro patterns are the same. 

Beware of "fractional truths". Truths so bad they aren't even half truths.

D&C 121

39 We have learned by sad experience that it is the nature and disposition of almost all men, as soon as they get a little authority, as they suppose, they will immediately begin to exercise unrighteous dominion.

40 Hence many are called, but few are chosen.

41 No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned;

42 By kindness, and pure knowledge, which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile

43 Reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy;

44 That he may know that thy faithfulness is stronger than the cords of death.

 

Monday, November 1, 2021

Recipricating Kindness for Cruelty

There were many times he screamed at me at our door. I stood there and spoke as kindly, calling on all the love I had within me.

Why?

I loved him. I felt sorry for him. I was afraid for our children. I was afraid for him.

How could I teach our children to love if their parents can't love each other?

He thought he could be controlled. 

Reciprocating kindness for cruelty is the ultimate way to show, "You can't control me. I can't control you."Its how you break the illusion of control. We can't control others, we can only control ourselves.

I wanted to teach my children to love him, to love me, to love unconditionally. We do not love the perfect unconditionally, we love the flawed unconditionally. We are all flawed.

Usually, when someone is under the delusion that you are out to get them in some way, or that you are their enemy, if you treat them with kindness, they realize they got it all wrong and soften up.

Usually. There are exceptions. This was one.

For 1,000,001 reasons that flooded my mind, I reciprocated with all the love I had.

I felt I had loved him for eternities, and this was just one screwed up moment in time.

If I could teach my children to love him, then even if I couldn't save him then, then our children could save him later.

The Star Wars prequels were out, and he was young Anakin to me. Mulder was also replaced by a alien human hybrid super soldier out to kill Scully while she was pregnant with the mystery baby.

Being forced to fight someone you love and care for is pretty freaky.

Anyway, I kept seeking Luke Skywalker take the mask off of Darth Vader. 

Someday, he could be saved. If not then, then someday.


Tuesday, October 26, 2021

The stupidest thing a man can do

The stupidest thing a man can do is work hard to persuade the mother of his children that he's a monster with a twisted mind who can justify any vile act. 

So many work hard to persuade the world they are wonderful, all while persuading the mother of his children that he's a sick bastard, consumed by lust and anger, shallow, weak minded, petty, willing to harm, hurt, abuse, even kill his own children to get his way.

If they had half a brain cell, they'd work on continuing to impress and serve the mother. 

Dimwits.

How you support your Co-Creators

The Creator, and man and woman together create new life. New life is everything. How we treat our co-creator's and what we create is everything. 

The number one thing we will be judged by is how we treat our co-creators and how we support what we create.

No matter what happens in life, we are obligated to love and support them. You can never please God by abandoning and abusing our co-creators or our creations.

Yet, abusers think they are heroes when they abuse their co-creators and creations.

If you see an inadequacy in your co-creator, that is your opportunity to step up and fill the gap in respectful loving kindness.

If you abandon your co-creator or creations, you are held accountable for every adversity they face without you by your negligence. All of the suffering and hardship is on you.

Everything that goes wrong, even and especially due to the weakness on your co-creator's part is on you. You are the other third of the equation.

Jesus used a term one place, and one place only. "Causeth her" In Matthew 5:32 Jesus used a word he never uses. "Causeth her", "drives her into it" in the Hebrew, it's the only time that Jesus transfers accountability from one person to another. Jesus holds the abandoner responsible for what follows, something unique for Jesus. Every where else, Jesus holds us alone for our actions. But Jesus knew that women, mothers, will do what they have to do, give up what they have, do anything to save and protect their children, and often make mistakes while doing so. The accountability for those mistakes, Jesus transfers to the abandoner.

So many times I've seen single mothers desperate to care and fill the needs of their children, marry poorly, hoping to fill the gap their co-creator abandoned. Jesus hold the fathers accountable for this.

A mother is entitled to love and support from both her co-creators. 

The number one thing a man will be judged for by the great Creator, is how he treats the mother, the woman who gave birth to, nursed, cared for, bled for, sacrificed for his children.

Not even death absolves the accountability as we become their guardian angels.

God, the great creator, has always served me faithfully. While he has expected me to pass through great adversity, ultimately my creator has been there.